The Good Enough Mompreneur Podcast

126. The Power of Adaptability and How to Harness Stress and Neuroscience for Business and Personal Growth with Coach and Business Consultant Michael Lopez

• Michael Lopez • Season 3 • Episode 126

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Welcome to another empowering episode of The Good Enough Mompreneur Podcast! In this episode, we are joined by the inspiring Michael Lopez, a seasoned entrepreneur, coach, and consultant. Michael's journey from college football and corporate consulting to leading his own successful coaching business gives him profound insights on embracing change, building resilience, and leveraging neuroscience for lasting growth in both business and life. Whether you're looking to scale your business or seeking motivation to navigate entrepreneurial challenges, this episode is packed with valuable advice and actionable tips.

Episode Highlights:

  1. Michael's Journey and Mission: Discover how Michael transitioned from college football and military service to becoming a successful entrepreneur and coach.
  2. Building Resilience: Learn why resilience is the most crucial attribute for success and how to develop it in your personal and professional life.
  3. Embracing Change: Understand the importance of adaptability and how to navigate change effectively in business and life.
  4. Neuroscience Insights: Gain insights into how our brains work and how to use this knowledge to implement lasting change.
  5. Practical Strategies for Growth: Michael shares actionable tips on managing stress, fostering personal development, and achieving incremental growth.

Reasons to Listen:

  1. Inspiration from a Unique Journey: Michael's diverse background provides a rich tapestry of experiences and lessons that are both relatable and motivating.
  2. Actionable Advice: The episode is filled with practical tips and strategies that you can implement immediately to enhance your business and personal growth.
  3. Understanding Neuroscience: Learn how to leverage the latest insights in neuroscience to make meaningful and lasting changes in your life and business.
  4. Real Talk on Resilience and Stress: Michael’s perspective on resilience and stress management is both refreshing and practical, offering a new way to look at challenges.
  5. Empowering Mindset: Michael’s emphasis on curiosity, experimentation, and a growth mindset will leave you feeling empowered and ready to tackle any obstacle.

Connect with Michael Lopez:

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Thank you for listening and keep up the great work, mama!

The Good Enough Mompreneur Podcast Interview with guest Michael Lopez

[00:00:00] Welcome to the podcast, Michael. I am excited to have you today because we're going to talk about change and transformation and there's so much to learn around that as entrepreneurs. So welcome to the podcast. Thanks for having me. I'm excited. I've been looking forward to this as well. Before we dive into all of the questions, this conversation is important for a couple of reasons.

[00:00:23] You're so brave to come on a podcast that is female focused, and that's so important and you're having conversations, you're bridging the gap. Between so many conversations that many women have been left out of. So I just have to commend you for that. And to I really love how focused you are as a parent.

[00:00:49] We're both parent preneurs and I can't wait to dive in on how being a parent influences us as entrepreneurs and how important that is. [00:01:00] Yeah, no, that's exciting. And let me just say to your listeners I, I was I have a number of strong and important women in my life. My, my family is very maternally oriented.

[00:01:12] I've been raised by wonderful women. My wife and I are expecting a baby girl in exactly one month from today. So by the time this airs, I'll have another one in my life. And it's an honor to be able to To give back, and share my perspective. So I just kind of want to say that out loud for everybody.

[00:01:28] No, I love that. Thank you so much for that. And we're going to learn so much in this conversation, but before we dive in, why don't you give us a little background on how you became an entrepreneur and what you're doing now and what your mission is? Yeah, well, I'll start with the mission. My, my mission really is to give people the knowledge and tools to transform into the best versions of themselves.

[00:01:54] Right. I have been a coach in some capacity and consultant. [00:02:00] Really my whole life, starting at about the age of 25, when I first started kind of working in this new world and you know, I played college football. I've worked with the military in many of my early years and then my first 13 years when I worked at Booz Allen with a lot of really amazing military organizations.

[00:02:17] And so everything that I've learned about being a teammate and a leader has kind of come from that formative experience. I always say that, you know, as a coach I think I have three obligations. The first one is to usher people into maybe very difficult, but necessary conversations and experiences.

[00:02:36] The second is to help them through that process. And the third is to lead by example. You know, as someone who kind of operates still with an athlete's mindset I believe deeply that we get better by doing hard things. I tell my son, right, you want to get better, play somebody better than you.

[00:02:52] Right. And it's a way to step into this idea of challenging yourself in sort of every way. So, you know, my, my [00:03:00] journey as an entrepreneur. Really came from, I'd spent many years in big consulting and it's a great place. Don't get me wrong. I've learned amazing things and worked with some amazing organizations and I still, and continue to consult with, you know, big companies.

[00:03:14] But I realized that the strategies I was using on the field as a coach were the same strategies and tactics and tools that I was using in the boardroom and with teams. And so I thought, how do I bring these things together? In the best possible way. And so, I think as you know, as well as anyone, when we can be who we are all the time whether it's home or work it, it just became a natural transition for me to step into this new space.

[00:03:43] So. You're now doing consulting. You've moved from that corporate environment to providing your own type of consulting. And you have such a diverse background from college football to public service and, [00:04:00] you know, being an entrepreneur now and working with major consulting firms and being a parent.

[00:04:07] So how have all of those experience. shaped your approach and how does it make it different? Yeah, well, I think I'm a big believer in, you know, the way we do some things is the way we do everything. And so, I have always been someone that's a little bit of a nonconformist a bit of a troublemaker, if you will and someone who pushes boundaries and I do that for myself back to the lead by example, you know, sort of piece of this.

[00:04:35] And I tell my kids all the time. I tell everybody, but my kids and given this conversation about being a parent, I'll never ask you to do something that I haven't done or I'm not willing to do myself because I just think that level of authenticity is so important, right? The do as I say, not as I do principle.

[00:04:53] I just have no time for. And you know, our children are such great. Observers of our behavior that it and this is [00:05:00] true for young people when you're a mentor to sort of younger folks coming up. So, you know, starting with that mindset, I think my experience is coming from the field, working with the military, going into big consulting.

[00:05:14] The 1 thing I found was that while I learned a great deal about how organizations work, what I also learned was that organizations are just groups of people. Right, and I would sit around and particularly in some of my larger consulting roles, I would look at these transformational plans and programs that we were building for clients and, you know, not to be too critical, but they just didn't work.

[00:05:38] They didn't work with the way people actually change. They didn't. Respond to our sort of neuro chemistry. They didn't respond to our biology. They were too generic. They were sort of, you know, build as the easy button for some of these changes. And so for me, it just became, you know, I realized I was bumping up against some of the structures in these bigger companies as [00:06:00] I was being a bit of an adjutant to, Hey, we could do this differently.

[00:06:03] We could do it better. And they, they never asked me to do that. They just wanted me to go. You know, be a partner in a big company, which is fine, but my clients were asking for a different experience. And I just found that the best way to do that was to create something where I could build the kind of culture and ethos and strategies that I thought made sense.

[00:06:21] And really, My goal was to have a different conversation with clients, the real conversation. And that's what I've been able to do. And it's just been a great journey that takes so much bravery and leadership. And I think it's a type of leadership that you don't find often outside of athletics or the military.

[00:06:44] So I'm excited that you're sharing that perspective with us, because I think To think big requires a lot of nonconformity. I think, you know, being in that corporate environment [00:07:00] can keep us small and keep us stuck. And so I hope that listeners are hearing that and going, Okay. Cause sometimes if we have that corporate background and we're starting and running our businesses we forget that we can think and do bigger things.

[00:07:19] Yeah. And look, you know, I, again, I want to say my I'm grateful for every experience I've had. And I think those experiences are, have high value and there's a place for those. It just became, I think for me at this stage of my life, you know, last year I got remarried, I turned 50. My, my wife is pregnant and I decided why not start my own company?

[00:07:39] So it just became a place where I realized I needed to go all in. And that was the only path for me that was sort of left. It's sort of funny. I was actually in an interview with a company. They reached out to me and they were talking to me and I actually stopped them in the middle of the interview.

[00:07:54] And I said, you know, I'm sorry I'm not the person for you. It's time for me to go in a different direction. And so [00:08:00] that was very freeing and it was very Empowering to know I this was not a choice. It was where I needed to be. So, so it's been a great journey that I mean, and so many of my listeners are at that point where they're wanting to make that leap.

[00:08:16] And so it requires a lot of bravery to do that. And so as an entrepreneur, you know, I was listening to a podcast diary of a CEO and they were interviewing a CIA agent, a former CIA agent, and he was talking about the fact that one of the things that they train the CIA operatives in is change. And being able to adapt to it and how important it is to be okay with that.

[00:08:47] And that made me think of you and the importance of this conversation. So talk to us about how change fits in with. [00:09:00] Transformation and entrepreneurship and why we need to get comfortable with the uncomfortable and the unpredictable. Yeah. Yeah. No, I think, look, being an entrepreneur is all about change and.

[00:09:15] You know, I have a personal belief that resilience is the single most important attribute you can have as a person. It beats empathy. It beats, which is up there, right? I, it's just my belief because it's sort of the put your mask on before you, you put anyone else's on, right? We can't care for others.

[00:09:33] We can't be empathetic. We can't show up in the way that we want. Unless we can withstand failure and adversity. And so, you know, looking back on my, certainly my, like my college football career, you know, I'm not a big guy, I'm like 5'7, 165 pounds, right? And I had people tell me, no, you're never going to play college football.

[00:09:53] And If I had listened to them and if I had accepted my circumstances, I, you know, I never would have gotten [00:10:00] there. And I think being an entrepreneur is sort of like that, right? You have to have an almost unwavering belief in yourself and in your ability. And then, you know, An ability to recover from setbacks.

[00:10:12] And that's, I think the first big principle. The second big principle I think is this idea of a multi dimensional skillset, right? So, so when you're an entrepreneur you're a little bit of everything, right? You're not just one thing. I actually found that we'll talk about specialization, you know, particularly in the corporate world, right?

[00:10:31] Specialization is it's, first of all, it's hugely important. It's highly profitable and it's important to have a division of labor amongst the team. And that's important within a team as well, but certainly being an entrepreneur, you have to be good at a lot of stuff. And so, you know, I think that's the second big principle.

[00:10:48] I think the third one that I would call on is this idea of a combination of strategy and action. You have to be willing to do the next thing, right? You've got to have a vision for where you want to go, [00:11:00] but you've got to be able to move quickly into the next thing. I actually tell my wife this all the time.

[00:11:06] It's a strategy I use with other people, which is, you know, when you're overwhelmed, don't do everything, do the next thing. And, you know, I think being an entrepreneur is really about that. And it's sort of funny that you commented on someone from the CIA. I actually worked for the defense intelligence agency.

[00:11:20] So I came from the intelligence community and many of those principles. This idea of sort of being adaptable, being resilient, understanding the big picture, but being able to understand when circumstances have changed and I need to respond differently and act in a new way. But with this idea of a big vision in mind, some of us get lost in the big picture.

[00:11:42] And you know, so I played quarterback, I'll use another analogy. My son plays quarterback as well. You know, this is a, this is the singularly most difficult position in sports. And I'll have that debate with anyone cause it really is. You have to be able to see the field and see everything happening.

[00:11:58] And then at the right moment, zero in [00:12:00] on a receiver and throw a ball. And so your mind understands and learns how to do that. So I just think those are great skills. There's ways to train that. And it's certainly skills that I've leaned on being an entrepreneur.

[00:12:11] I think those are just so important and we don't talk about the importance of adapting to change and, you know, moving quickly, but, you know, just as so many moms know, once you find out you're pregnant, you don't have the baby the next day, they're increments. And so that too, I've heard you talk about incremental change, which is so important and.

[00:12:38] Also, taking your time with that with your strategy. One of the other things I'd love to talk about too, is what do we usually get wrong about change as leaders in our business? Because I think. We don't talk about the importance of being adaptive [00:13:00] to the change. Yeah. So, yeah, this is one of the reasons I referenced it a little bit in my kind of big consulting experience.

[00:13:07] I think there's a natural, I think, tendency to sort of sell ourselves on the easy button, right? You hear about, , biohacking or life hacks and all these sorts of things. And certainly I'm all for. Efficiency when efficiency makes sense. But I think one of the, one of the things we get wrong is an expectation of what's required in the change experience.

[00:13:30] And that it happens faster than it actually does change. Real change takes time. Right. It takes repetition. And so I think one of the things we get wrong to start with is a misperception of the timescale that's required to really change something. Right. And it, yeah, look at, you know, January 1st, right.

[00:13:50] I love this stat. Did you know that the day that most people give up on their new year's resolution, there's a day. I think, isn't it like the [00:14:00] 15th, the 13th, or the 15th, or something like that, from January? Yeah, January 19th, right? Okay, yeah. Yeah, and so, so, part of the reason for that is there's really two reasons for that.

[00:14:12] One, we don't understand the time scale of how long it takes to change something that we actually want to turn into a habit or a practice or whatever it may be. The second thing is we try to change too many things, right? I want to be a better parent. I want to be a better spouse. I want to drink less. I want to run more.

[00:14:27] I want to read three books a month. You know, pick your million things that you stack onto that, right? It's too many things. And so, so I think we have a misperception of the volume and scale of what we can change in the time that we have. So I think that's the first thing. I think the second thing companies really struggle with is this idea of change at scale, right?

[00:14:48] That if I have a company of a thousand people, I can't change all of them with the same three tactics, right? We're a thousand different people. And there's a lot of science behind how our [00:15:00] brains work and why we're different and what that means. And so, you know, a strategy that might work for you might not be effective for me.

[00:15:06] And so. So part of the reason I think the easy button in the sales world of change management sounds good is because it sounds low cost and high impact. Right. And I remember being in a couple of pitches for clients and we would be doing, I dunno, like a big You know, technology implementation, changing some kind of process.

[00:15:27] And there'd be this Gantt chart with a million lines of every possible little technical detail. And at the bottom of the sort of Gantt chart is this thing that says change in communications. And it's like, Oh, Well, we'll just, you know, spend 200 K on that. People will figure it out. And I'm like this, you know, I always say all this stuff sounds great.

[00:15:47] So you get actual people involved and then it goes off the rails. Right. So I think that's the second thing. The third thing I would say is that we tend to track progress the wrong way. So [00:16:00] we, let's go back to the new year's resolution example, right? We, most people set something around health, right? I want to lose weight.

[00:16:06] 20 pounds, right? Well, you don't lose 20 pounds in, in one workout, right? That takes time back to the time dimension. But, and so people get frustrated because, oh, I only lost a pound this month or this week or whatever it is. And that frustration leads to people giving up. But what you can track are the inputs to change, right?

[00:16:26] If I set my goals differently, I want to run three days a week for the next month, right? Just pick that as a goal. I can track that, right? I run Monday, Wednesday, Friday. And if I start to feel good with the process of change, then I worry less about the outcome. The outcome will happen, but I need to focus on the inputs and we spend too much time focusing on the outputs.

[00:16:50] Yeah. I, you know, I think the last thing I would say is that particularly with strategy and companies you know, your corporate strategy is not enough to motivate real people, [00:17:00] right? You have a life that's rich with, you know, highs and lows and experiences and visions and goals, and everyone's different.

[00:17:09] And so I think sometimes we think that. A strategy is enough to get you out of bed in the morning to go do the work that's required to change and motivation is a very personal experience. And so I think we tend to just overemphasize the fact that I've got a vision and that should be enough. And I don't know that is, you know, sort of in every instance.

[00:17:34] Yeah. And so what I hear you saying is we need to be more focused on our expectations, which I think is great. We need to be less like internally focused and kind of see people as a team. Yeah. Well, both really. Yeah. They're a team, but they're also individuals, right? You've got to balance.

[00:17:55] But I think implementing, you know, something we want to change, we're focused [00:18:00] on what we need. Instead of what, you know, people at large want or need, or how they learn or how they incorporate things and then focusing on the input and. Yeah, it just sounds like we just need to have a larger vision for what we're doing and find what motivates us, right?

[00:18:22] Yeah. Yeah. And let me give you an example, right? I've seen a lot of, you know, corporate initiatives that look like, all right, we set the vision. We've got a strategy. We build the documents called what's in it for me, right? And we go tell people, what do you get by participating in this process? Okay. We send them to 30 minutes to an hour of training.

[00:18:42] We give them a new account or a new process or a new tool. And we say, go be different. Right. And that's not actually how it works, right? How we work is we learn through repetition. We learn through failure. We learn through experimentation. But in order to do that, I need support and coaching and guidance and [00:19:00] feedback, right?

[00:19:01] I need to change my relationship to stress. I need to be comfortable being stressed, right? Back to the January 19th thing, the reason most people give up, they don't like the frustration that comes with trying new things, right? It's a it's hard, right? And so we just need to sort of turn the experience around and think about it differently.

[00:19:21] And I like that you also have an emphasis on the neuroscience because I think that's so important, not only running a business, but working with other people and just kind of understanding how our brains work. It can, it helps so much. So, and I was going to ask you like, what keeps us stagnant and what.

[00:19:42] you know, are some of the key ways that we can implement lasting change. But I think it's all kind of related to the neuroscience. So what are some of the, what are some of the things that we need to keep in mind? Well, you know, it's a great question and I [00:20:00] think it's important to understand First of all there's so much information available now about the science of how our brains work.

[00:20:08] There's so many great podcasts and books and things that are accessible. There's more knowledge that we have now about how our brains actually work. I think it's important to understand that your brain, the principal function of your brain is to keep you alive. Right. Right. Which is to keep your heart beating.

[00:20:26] And in order to do that, it needs to manage the resources that your body utilizes to perform that function. And just like a company, your brain wants to do that in the most efficient way possible. Right? So that's why we have habits, right? Habits are really good because, you know, I always tell people try brushing your teeth with your opposite hand for a week.

[00:20:48] Right. It's really, it takes a lot of thought. It's really, you know, jack yourself. It's really uncomfortable, right? Yeah. The challenge with that, of course, is that if you have too many things in the habit category, [00:21:00] then you become automatic and you stop thinking about. The methods with which you undertake your activities.

[00:21:07] Familiarity is a dangerous thing, right? When we become really good at something, right? We tend to move it into the background, right? We tend to move it into this thing that we just turn our brains off, right? Everyone's had the experience of driving somewhere and you just go, Oh, I don't remember driving here.

[00:21:23] Right. So there's a balance. I think that's really important to understand that your brain is going to push you as much as possible into the most efficient mode of operation. So you've got to induce difference into your life in order to Make those changes happen right? A great example is think about the music you listen to.

[00:21:46] There's actually been studies done on this that most people stop introducing new music into their life after like their early twenties and it becomes a very familiar. Pattern that you develop. And if you [00:22:00] listen to new music, people, Oh, this music's terrible, right? But somebody who's 15 really likes it, right?

[00:22:05] But putting yourself even into that pattern, right? Is a really great way of sort of agitating this structure. That's sort of trying to keep you in some level of predictability. The second thing I'd say about your brains is really important. There's a book I'd have everyone you should, that they should read or listen to.

[00:22:21] It's called How Emotions Are Made by Dr. Lisa Feldman Barrett. It's a groundbreaking piece of work about rethinking our emotional experience. And basically what your brain is doing is guessing constantly what's going to happen to you next. And your emotions are a function of how accurate that prediction is.

[00:22:42] Right. So somebody cuts you off on the road. You know, something bad happens, right? I always say this, right? You ever get a text from your spouse? Hey, we need to talk. What does that trigger in you? Right? Nothing good's coming out of that conversation. Right? So. So if we understand that we can [00:23:00] interrupt that process and start to understand how to leverage the brain in different ways, right?

[00:23:04] So there's just, there's so much good insight that we have available now that I've really been trying to tie that into change and say, how do I work with that process rather than just fighting against it all the time. Yeah. And I just, I think that we just lose sight of the fact that we are people, we're all human, we're all connected and, you know.

[00:23:28] That's Just because you've had all of this information in preparation to implement maybe something new in your business, a new software or whatnot, doesn't mean the other person that. Is on the receiving end has had any benefit of that. Yeah. Well, you know, I always say two things to people and it's just been helpful for me as a parent as well, as a friend, as a spouse is first of all, nobody thinks about you as much as you do.

[00:23:55] Oh, yeah. Right. So, so, you know, just [00:24:00] realize that, right? And the second thing is you can never truly understand somebody else's experience, not all the way, not to the depth that they can, right? And so if your brain is a prediction machine and it's constantly guessing about the future, its only reference point is my own experience.

[00:24:18] Right. Right. So if somebody says to you, that's never going to work. Well, that's because that person and their experience history, it didn't but I have a different set of data that my brain's operating on. So I believe it will. And right. So much of our tension that we experience in collaborating in.

[00:24:35] Working through difficult conversations, engaging in conflict is really a large part of it. It's just understanding the frame of reference and the reference point from which somebody else is making future predictions. And you know, I'm not trying to over science it as if we shouldn't have emotions and that sort of thing.

[00:24:51] Of course we do, but. If I can understand that, I can approach those conversations and experiences differently, as well as with [00:25:00] myself, right? I'm frustrated right now because I'm learning something new. That's not a signal to stop. It's a signal to keep going. Right. So those are things that I think we can all lean into as strategies to kind of promote more growth within ourselves.

[00:25:15] I think those are such great tips, whether you're working with a team or trying to get A three year old to do what you want them to do, which is parents. We may have to do all and start over with that here today. So I, so much great information and tips I'd love to also. Have your insight on some tips that parentpreneurs can incorporate into leading and coaching, you know, to create that inspiring and lasting change.

[00:25:52] Yeah. Well, I've referenced some of them, but maybe to be pithy about it I think it's critical that we change our [00:26:00] relationship with stress. Right. We have, look, the human body was designed under stress, right? Muscles grow under stress, bones grow under stress. And yet we, I think we have overemphasized that stress is, we need to remove it from our lives.

[00:26:17] And certainly there are levels to that and you know, there's real long term stress is bad. Right. But short term stress. Is the most effective growth mechanism you have available to you as a human being, and that goes for your brain. We learn under stress. We remember under stress. We create neuroplasticity under stress.

[00:26:37] And so I just think we need to take a different approach to that. And so I would start there. I think the second thing I would say to people is challenging our beliefs, which is what we think is true. And engaging with people who have beliefs different than your own is a critical part of the growth process to be able to create lasting change.

[00:26:59] [00:27:00] Considering I often walk around and go, I just consider the idea that I could be wrong about everything. Right. And if I can open myself up with some curiosity about that, right, I think I'm a smart person. I've lived, you know, 50 years. I've picked up a few things along the way. But. There's so much experience out there.

[00:27:17] That's not my own. Why should I believe that what's inside this black box of a skull that I have is, you know, necessarily perfect all the time. And so we just close ourselves off from that experience in so many ways that I think, you know, look, we see it in politics. We see it in places like that.

[00:27:33] And I think you've just, you just getting comfortable, right. And, you know, And so I would also start there. Think like this conversation, learning how your body really works, right? Understanding the mechanisms that are available, why growth matters, right? Why, or why stress matters, right?

[00:27:50] Here's a great example. I always say that. So I'm a cold shower guy. So I take a cold shower every day, right? It's miserable, right? So it sucks. Right. But. [00:28:00] It's, it has huge like, immune support. Benefits. It has huge dopamine response benefits. It has huge focus benefits. It takes two minutes, right?

[00:28:13] But if I can step into that and I understand how I'm engaging my body in the process of learning, then now I'm going to be more effective. Right. In that experience. And there's just so much available to us to sort of do that. And then I think the last thing I'd say is patience back to this conversation, right?

[00:28:29] It's never going to happen as quickly as you want. One of my favorite phrases is change happens slowly and then all at once, right? You just, you stick with it. And then one day you look back and you're like, Oh my God, right. I'm different. Right. And so, and certainly there's, you know, details in there that I'm happy to share with folks, but I would start with those things.

[00:28:48] Right. So all of your responses are indicative of somebody who is very aware, mindful, and focuses on growth. [00:29:00] And I know that you're known for saying that you try to be 1 percent better every day. And I think that is very impactful. And I think we all should aspire to try to be better every day, whatever percentage that is.

[00:29:16] So I would love to hear from you. What are some things that you're doing or you're loving right now that are helping you grow and helping you be better? Yeah. It's funny. I was talking to my wife about this and I told her, I was like, I'm going to have you come answer this question for me and tell people how exhausting it is to live with me.

[00:29:36] Cause I really do live by this stuff. And I'm always looking to level up, right? Whether it's work, health, longevity, my relationships. And I've mentioned some of them, right? So first I would say is getting comfortable with the idea of being wrong. And I think it's important for us to work on that assumption not in a degrading way of my intelligence, but as a self limiting structure of [00:30:00] my experience.

[00:30:01] Right. I just wouldn't have possibly known everything. So how do I start to be curious about that? That leads me to read things that I wouldn't expect to read to reach out to you and be on a podcast about moms and go, Hey, I think I have something to offer. And who knows? Right? Those are things that I really have done a lot more.

[00:30:19] So putting myself out there in those ways. I think the second thing I try to do is just ask for feedback. I ask for it all the time and then listen to it. Right. And by the way, feedback doesn't, you don't have to respond to everything people tell you, but you can't observe yourself. You need that reflective surface from other people.

[00:30:40] Here's the great news, right? Kids are the ultimate reflective sources, right? Yeah, you know, they will give you back exactly what you give to them. And so I think that for me is a big piece of leveling up. I think the third thing I try is to try new things, right? When I read new things I'm constantly putting in new [00:31:00] practices, whether it's around sleep, whether it's around reading something.

[00:31:03] Different apps that I experiment with kind of just styles of working, right? Trying to find new ways to incorporate a new working habit, right? I just, I am constantly experimenting with new stuff. And even if I don't adopt that thing as a long term solution, it might lead me to the next thing. And I might decide, you know, here's another path.

[00:31:23] And so, you know, this idea of taking on a spirit of experimentation. And then, you know, as I mentioned, I. I seek out really uncomfortable situations and stress on a regular basis. You know, whether it's my morning cold shower, whether it's a conversation that I've been avoiding that I'm trying not to engage in, whether it's a, you know, piece of feedback that I asked for that I maybe don't want to hear the answer.

[00:31:48] My cue is anytime I don't want to do something, that's my cue to go do it. And there's actually a lot of great science. There's a part of your brain called the anterior mid cingulate cortex for the geeks out there [00:32:00] that want to know this. And anytime you do something you don't want to, that part of your brain gets bigger and it's a signal for people who live longer.

[00:32:08] Have a bigger brain region around here. And so there's all sorts of really cool stuff about it. And so that's it's just more of a method, right? Find hard things, do them, get feedback, try them, rinse and repeat as much as I can every day. Sounds a lot like our house. I love it. I love it.

[00:32:27] But you know, you mentioned something else too. Curiosity. And I think that all of those things are made possible by your curiosity. And I think curiosity is so important and needs to be nurtured. So I hope that this conversation You know, we'll help anyone realize the importance of that and to cultivate that, the things that you're curious about.

[00:32:53] Why did I react this way? Why did somebody else react that way? Or what if I did this, what would happen? [00:33:00] Yeah. Yeah. I have a just kind of pro tip for your listeners. I, every, any problem in your life, I believe can be solved with three questions. The first one is how have I done something? Previously, whatever it may be, right?

[00:33:14] How have I been as a spouse, parent, pick a hard conversation, whatever, pick the thing that you want to work on. How have I done that previously? And really analyze the steps you take, the process you go through, whatever it may be. Second question, how has that served me? And the purpose of that question is to say, what did I gain out of that?

[00:33:33] But what's been difficult about it? Right. In what ways is it creating negative outcomes? And the third question is, how could I do it differently? And those three questions seem really simple, but if you answer them honestly, you will find so many opportunities to insert microchanges in your life. That you'll, you will be amazed at the results, right?

[00:33:58] But you got to be honest in that [00:34:00] discussion with yourself. It's why having a coach do it with you is really helpful. It's why asking for feedback is really helpful because now you start to really question. Oh, wow. I've just been on autopilot in how I respond when my kids are upset or how I respond when my spouse is unhappy, or when my boss is upset, I've just been on autopilot.

[00:34:22] How could I do that differently? It's literally what I do with companies. I ask them the same three questions that we go through a process to try to figure that out. No, I appreciate that. There's been so much value in everything you've had to share with us today. So I appreciate that so much. But if you wanted to leave listeners with one takeaway or a few takeaways, what would that be?

[00:34:44] Yeah, well, you know, change is possible. And I think the important part to remember, as I said, is that we are the most adaptable. Species on planet earth, right? We've demonstrated that. And so we are designed to change. We are designed to [00:35:00] adapt. We're designed to learn, but we have to understand how that process works and we have to step into the discomfort of that experience, right?

[00:35:09] It's not easy, but it's possible. And so I think if you're a leader of a company, you've got to understand that you're Company is made up of people. I get the question a lot. What is, what industry are you in? I'm in the human industry. I don't care how you make money. If you have people, you know, I can help you change.

[00:35:27] And so, you know, if you're running your own business, right. It's possible. Change is possible. You're doing it every day. You just got to keep doing it and sort of fall in love with the process of changing and worry less about the outcomes. The outcomes will happen. And so I think I would just encourage everyone to really get curious about the experience and feeling of what it's like to grow and start to really love it, you know, and start to really love the difficult moments.

[00:35:56] And you'll be surprised at where you end up on the other side. [00:36:00] Yes, you're and you're going to have some difficult moments coming up, but it's so worth it being ready for it. So I love it. Yeah, I look forward to seeing how that goes. And I hope everything goes well. And, you know, congratulations on your new beginning that's coming up.

[00:36:19] Thank you so much for your insight and your wisdom that you shared with us today. I'm sure listeners are going to want to connect with you and learn more about what you do and where can they do that? Great place to start is my website michaeljlopez. coach. Kind of an interesting suffix on the website there.

[00:36:37] All my socials are on there. You know, I'm on all the big ones and you can schedule time with me there. Anyone can schedule 15 minutes with me anytime they have an open window. And you'll find some of the posts I've done in terms of like some of my blogs and some of my thought leadership posts, other podcasts that I've been on this one will be on there as well, and it's a great place to start.

[00:36:57] So I love to connect and talk about this. So, [00:37:00] happy to share more with those that are interested. And I failed to mention that you were named one of the top up and coming entrepreneurs in 2024 in an article on MSNBC. And so congratulations on that. And this conversation was just evidence of why you were named that. So thank you so much. Thank you so much.

[00:37:23] It's been a pleasure. Mine too.

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Angela Masciulli

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